If I Were A Terrorist

Or why you'd best start thinking about buying American.

The folks the US Government is currently calling terrorists simply aren't very good at being terrorists. Their approach is all about grandstanding and saying, "Hey Ya'll, look at me!" as if they were children on the schoolyard. If I were intent on causing terror and killing Americans here's how I would do it.

For starters, imagine Pop Tarts being dropped into exploding toasters. A toaster is the perfect device to ignite even the simplest of bombs as it has electricity, heat and an unknowing victim to push down the handle just before it goes boom.

Or what about a television that blows up when you switch channels? Imagine a WalMart, Best Buy, or Circuit City showroom loaded with exploding televisions. A little harder to do than rigging an explosive toaster but far more effective.

What about arsenic laden imported foods? Strychnine tea, anyone? What if the terrorists launched a new food product laced with acids that burned those who tried the free samples at the grocery store? Are you aware of how much of what you eat in America is actually imported?

If I were going to hijack airplanes I'd fly them into petroleum tank farms like the Colonial Pipeline tank farm right here in Greensboro, North Carolina. Did you know that every drop of oil, gasoline, diesel fuel, kerosene and home heating oil that flows to Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, New York and the whole of New England arrives by way of this one tank farm-- the largest on the east coast? If you think gas is high now-- imagine if over 1/2 of the nation's fuel supply were hit by crashing planes into tank farms.

There are hundreds of deadly toxins that your municipal water company be they private or municipal simply doesn't test for. Add any of those toxins and the death toll could be in the thousands before anyone figured out the cause.

What if the terrorists launched a new food product laced with acids that burned those who tried the free samples at the grocery store?

Or computers that go boom.

Comments

[Osama Jr.]

Thanks for all the great ideas! I'll pass them on to my jihad brothers!

[Osama Jr.]

That was a joke by the way.... (just in case Homeland Security is watching).